The First Derro

Derro. de-ro or der-ro. n, adj, abbreviation for 'derelict'

Definition: unsuitable male. Most easily recognised by his lack of ambition, lack of tertiary education and desire for a second mother. Secondary characteristics may include a tendency towards general inactivity and excessive self pity.

After 5 long years of beating myself up for ever dating the First Derro (the first of a fairly extensive range of derros) I told the little bastard where to get off. This was surprisingly cathartic.

I will no longer beat myself up for dating derros. Instead, if the derros bother me, I will beat them up!

Obviously, I will also actively try not to date anymore derros.

Signed

Kate-implementing-a-derro-free-life-Laing

P.S. Wish my Dad was still alive, he was always helpful about pointing out derros!

CONSULAR: LAING, Philip David - Final Judgement [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

Dear Mrs Laing

Please find below the report received from our Embassy in Harare following their attendance at the High Court yesterday (19 Feb) .

Text begins

Consul attended the High Court today for the final judgment of the three men charged with the murder of Mr Laing. All three faced charges of (1) murder, (2) robbery, (3) kidnapping and (4) attempted murder. All three were found not guilty of murder and attempted murder but guilty of culpable homicide, robbery, kidnapping and administering a noxious substance.

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The accused's defence was "I dident know the ecid wuld do thet".

Irony is...

spending two and a half healthy months travelling through South East Asia, coming home, having dinner at Wagga Mamma's (paying $18 for noodles) and getting sick in the comfort of my own home.